You know how bullshit makes me dizzy. Well, this morning I awoke with a can of Tecate in my hand, pretty much unclothed, and, without so much as a fashionable iota, carried my sorry ass to the record heap and drew Barbirolli conducting Mahler's 9th. I tell you what, there outta be a separate jail for assholes like this. This is the composition that actually makes me look forward to dying! It's radiance is immeasurable. It's philosophical import can hardly be exaggerated. But somehow this Barbirolli cunt managed to deflavor it to such a pulpy shitmass that I almost feel like I'm stuck in front of one of those goddamned Star Wars movies with music by John Whatshisfuck.
The silver living to this fecal puff is that upon reaching the turntable I found that my roommate had swallowed a hard and baffling Steelers loss to the FUCKING BEARS by spinning out the evening to Frank Sinatra's In the Wee Small Hours. I tell you what, it must take a grown up fucking guy to lose Ava Gardner. I don't envy him that. Anyway, I mention it because the notion that there are people between the rural lights of our land dozing off to that record almost makes up for Tim Geithner and the bloodsuck casuistry that is rapidly developing as the Obama administration. And by the way, if you think a healthy fucking slice of our President's detractors are not racist cunts then kindly wake up while any given placard is being waved cariacaturing him as a monkey. Fuck them, but double fuck you. Alright, my beer's getting warm and I think the sun might be coming up.